NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....

Can't take that word anymore - It annoys me when Bob says it, when Bean says it -- even when Puppy says it -- but when Belle does...it brings on an entirely new meaning...

The repeated nonononononononononononononononononononononono -- there are no other words...none, just no in a different pitch, a different cry, a different scream...but it continues...and cries, and screams...as I type -- J is dealing with the screams... and trying to calm her, there is no talking - there is no reason...just the repeated no.

What caused it this time? Who knows....she came out of her shower -- that she did greatly on her own, she was really cute coming out of the shower -- I gave her her towel, and reminded her to be careful coming out, and not to slip...for a second she gave me a VERY weird blank, almost catatonic look...I laughed...and so did she, she snapped into a big smile. I asked her to dry off before she got she left the bathroom, and I would come cuddle once she was in PJ's.

(8:49 -- the screaming has ended -- only 31 minutes this encounter)

A few minutes later she jumped into our bed - getting bet between our duvet and the cover -- something that drives us nuts, as it rips the cover.... she said she was cold and need to warm up. I asked her to come out of the cover, get her pj's on, and I would help warm her up under her covers.

That is when the no's began...(this time)

I helped her into her bed, put on her pj's and tucked her in -- then it continued, the one word chorus, the unending screaches and screams... she undressed and followed me around, screaming she was cold and NO!

J took her into her bed -- and somehow got her calm...he said re-direction...asking her what she wanted for lunch tomorrow - snapped her out of it, this time. And then she asked for her winter PJ's -- it is 87 degrees...and she wants winter fleece pj's - fine, we have air conditioning, and it is getting cooler -- but what prevented her from just saying "mommy, I'm cold, can I have my winter PJ's?" Maybe someday we will know -- I'm just thankful J was able to help her out of it this time...he is really good at it, he always has been...patience I need to learn.

Sensory issues, sure -- can they be the cause of all these outbursts and meltdowns? We are on the quest to help her....

Super Sunday!

What a great day! We drove all the way to PA today for a fun filled swim day of family. Aunt J and Uncle R, Cousin J and D, Bubbie, Zaddie, Aunt M from Israel, Grammy and Grandpa, Unc and Lolo, "special Grandma T"-- of course Jesse and Keppi the dogs -- all met for a wonderful, relaxed day by the pool.

4 generations -- much love and more - ration of 2.75 adults per child -- much more then we have on any normal day! But to hear Bubbie, my grandma say it was the best day of her life -- was awesome! Zaddie even got his feet into the pool -- grandma was quite sad, watching all the help he needed to do it, I was too -- this strong, brilliant man, dentist, husband, care taker, father to three, grandpa to 9, now great grandpa to 8 has withered... but no matter how we have felt about what has come out of his mouth in the past, we all love him and are there to support both he and grandma...as they have always done for us. I'm so fortunate to have my kids know my grandparents...and love to spend time with them, just like I did...just like they do with my parents...we are all truly blessed.

Pooped with poop...

I am soo done with poop! I get that I have four kids, I get that it is a growing process...I don't mind changing diapers, never had...I was never the mom to care about that, for god sakes I had 3 kids in diapers at one time...BUT to have my 7 year old, and now my 6 year old - having problems with pooping their pants...I'm SOOOOO DONE!

My baby...

Tonight there was a major change in our house...and I was totally unprepared, absolutely took me by surprise. J took the side of Puppy's crib off...Puppy now sleeps in a toddler bed...

I was not prepared, I wasn't ready -- could I say it in a different way? I feel I needed to psych myself up for my baby, my youngest to not be in a crib anymore - more than just the second anyway.

All 4 kids were excited -- J was excited, mostly that he wouldn't have to get out of bed to get Puppy anymore...

I'm excited for Puppy too, he is a big boy, when Bob was his age, he was almost a big brother to two and in a big boy bed for a while...it helps put things in perspective...but alas, for the last time in Central, we took a crib side off to make a toddler bed...

I'm a little sad.

Wisdom of others...

Sometimes during conversations with people in our lives, or people that we don't even know -- some thing profound comes out of it and I try to remember it!

Today, a wonderful woman at shul was talking about how wonderful Belle, even with all her issues going on.... she said having Belle in a class would make it worth going back into a classroom instead of administration! I love that some people an get her. We talked a little about the type of teacher who would be good for her...but she said, we have to make sure whomever she has doesn't break her spirit and the inner calm Belle has... WOW - something in our crazy day to day...I must remember....

The other thing that is on my list...Tim Russert died two weeks ago...but through all the tributes and all the quotes they showed him saying...the one that I keep remembering is "Luke, I'm proud to be your dad."

Bob, Belle, Cookoo, Puppy -- I'm proud to be your mom!

Middle Child Syndrome

Middle Child Syndrome - I believe in it. Both my parents are middle children, my sister Lolo is a middle child -- My friend BP -- I've watched it, I get it...one of the reasons I wanted 4 children...but I guess there is alway a middle-ish child. In our house Bean is it. I realized that I have yet to bring her up...poor kid!

To describe her...she is like an only child who didn't get the memo that she was not only one of 4 -- but the 3rd to be born. Bean loves attention, craves attetion and will do anything in her power to get it...possitive or negative. She messes with people, especially Puppy, to get them to do things with her, but makest them angry.

She loves adults- and loves to please us....but will tell us something she did wrong, even if it something so low on the do not do list/ or even something that is fine to do, but she decided it wasn't -- she tilts her head to the side, chin down, lip out, puppy dog eyes looking up and an ALMOST tear -- saying "I am sorry I _________ mommy, I know you will be mad, I won't do it again, I love you"

She is also the child, when I am angry at someone else or yelled for any reason -- says "mommy I love you" in a shy quiet way.

But come time to take a picture, or stand still, or stop talking - FORGET IT!

She is a sweet, caring, BRILLIANT little girl, who gets people, loves life, loves everyone around her -- she deserves the best - my prayer for her is that she accepts it as it comes her way.

Slamming the gate!

So it has bee a few days since the gates have been remove...and my coaxing J out of a mood with yelling at him not to slam it....Bob is over it -- but my beautiful 7 year old Bob is still telling me when he slammed the gate -- and when he does it a second time! I love him!

Number 4 and "the others never...."

We find ourselves saying "the others NEVER did that!" quite often after Puppy does something unexpected, or different -- throwing us into the roll of first time parents, so to speak for each incident.

The first that comes to mind is our anniversary 2006 - Puppy bit a Nerf football -- we found part of the piece and the football, and realized that there was still a piece missing. After a trip to the END to make sure he didn't swallow a piece - they sent us to the radiologist for a barium swallow, as the ENT said with foam, ya just never know, it could be hiding somewhere...and low and behold, there on the screen during the barium swallow, was that little piece of foam being pushed down by that yucky barium - and probably pooped out at some point....that was a big "the others NEVER did that!"

Tonight - Puppy climbed out of his crib, TWICE!! I know, I know - He is 2.5 -- and Lolo did that at 14 months -- but "the others NEVER did that!" The second time he hurt his little toe -- "da pinkie mommy, da little one - kiss it please" -- ok Puppy but we don't climb out of our criby - cause you can get hurt -- "I know mommy! da pinkie got hurt!"

My sweet little boy -- here's to no more, the others never...

Self awareness...

We have been working with Belle on self awareness, knowing where her body is in relation to others, talking to others, tone of voice etc.

Today after her appointments at the drs she didn't want to go to camp. She told J that she was not nice to the children in her group, so she didn't want to go to camp because she didn't want to be mean to the other children.....

That is self awareness...no she can't control it, yet; but she is aware. I'm proud of her for that. We moved her, thanks to the wonderful directors of the camp, to the group with rising second graders that Bob is in, instead of the rising k/1 group she was in. She is physically more their size, and hopefully will be a positive change on day 3 of camp.

6 year check up -- 48.5 inches tall -- 95th percentile

Ice Cream for Dinner -- Chicken Fingers for Dessert

When I asked Belle what she wanted for her birthday dinner she said "ice cream!" So I said, OK - she was VERY surprised...so then she said, "what about dessert?" I asked her what she wanted..."Chicken nuggets and honey!" OK I said -- sounded smart to me:)

Well my darling daughter who SOMETIMES does GREAT with being "flexible" (as we call it in our house thanks to Pinky Dinky Doo) had a very flexible transition when I said we were out of nuggets and if chicken fingers would work...THANK GOD for noggin and a flexible birthday girl....it could have just as easily been a disaster!

6 years ago today... good will rise above - most days!

6 years ago today our wonderful Belle was born. Amid being mad at J for not getting me the epidural I was asking for -- crying "you promised" -- yelling that a sexual organ of mine hurt, over and over and over again -- and the nurse telling me not to push because they couldn't fine my doctor....our bouncing baby girl, weighing a surprising 10lbs came into our world and our lives.

We planned her, we asked for her, we need her to come when she did. You see, J-h's dad had been diagnosed with brain cancer in Aug of 01, I had a miscarriage that same week -- while J was away visiting his dad -- a pregnancy I didn't know I had until it was gone, and a terrible day that rocked our world 9-11-01. We wanted something good, we needed a good thing to look forward to, and we wanted to be happy again. Bob was only 7 months old at the time, but we knew it was time. Unc may never forgive us, for where it happened - but if it didn't happen then, Grandpa G would have never met our precious Belle...

It was a tough pregnancy - not physically so much, but emotionally. J also lost his job that August, and things were quite tough -- we didn't know he would be out of work for more than 6 months. The emotions of Grandpa G being sick, and the fear of what it meant to the family was great. The organization I was working for was hit hard by 9/11 and finances there were also of grave concern (I ended up loosing my job December 02).


But Belle came that beautiful June morning -- on her due date -- our friend M and R came to take care of Bob....M was his favorite person at the time. Grammy had come in the night before and was able to be with us as well. Of course B our friend and Doula, who saved me from a section with Bob and helped us with both Bean and Puppy's too!

It was a quick labor - 6 hours and a much easier entrance into mother hood the second time around then the first.

We all were together for her naming on July 7th 2002 -- the last time both sides would be together in its entirety before Grandpa G passed away 3 months later.


We chose a special name for her -- well I did and J went along with it. Her name means "good will rise above" - I love it - it fits her, the time she was born both in the world and in our family. She was also named after my great uncle, my grandfather's brother, who despite being mentally slow, lived a full life - on his own -- rising above any challenge that faced him...that is our hope and wish for our Belle.

Today she went off to camp -- 6 years old -- ears pierced and all -- with a big smile and a can do attitude. I worry about her, constantly....but I know - she will rise above any obstacle in her path (self inflicted or otherwise:))

How to make a 7 year old snap out of a tantrum...

Yell at him for kicking the gate - ask him to open the gate, yell at him for not doing it fast enough...yell at him for trying to climb over the gate -- and at the top of the steps -- tell him not to bang the gate -- just close it gently.

It works! (as long as there isn't a gate!)

You are now free to roam around...

For the first time in 7 years - J and I are able to roam the home without a gate...I will not miss the banging of the gate against the wall - I can still hear it in my head, I will not miss telling the kids not to swing on it, I will not miss the closer being at eye level of half our children and knocking bruises on their faces, I will not miss trying to open it while carrying a load or two of laundry in my arms, I will not miss stubbing my toe on it...

it is a big milestone, it is a little bit exciting, a little sad at the same time (our babies are growing up)-- but the fear of J or I falling down the steps -- tremendous!

All's fair in love and war. No Biting!

After a weekend of working with A-s to stop hitting -- everyone in his path -- reciting "We don't hit!" over and over again...

Bob turns around this morning and was bawling his 7 year old eyes out! Saying that Puppy bit him. I turned to Puppy and said, Puppy - we don't bite!

Poor Puppy looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes of his and said -- "Mommy, I no hit him?!?"
How do you not laugh? My 7 year old is in tears, and my two year old thinks he figured out how to listen!

The boys exchanged hugs and a special kiss is delivered to the wound -- and our new mantra is ..."We don't hit or bite"

Name Game!

When we named our children we thought long and hard about how each name would honor the person they were named after...the way it fit into the exhisting family of names ended up being an afterthought....

The confusion has increased over the years, with drs appts and playdates -- but as a side affect it has created posting confustion - as I post I can't Say J Y A and A when there are two A's and a husband J -- let's see if this code works for now.

J-h -- J -- Husband
J-s -- Bob -- Son
Y-d -- Belle -- Daughter
A-d -- Bean -- Daughter
A-s -- Puppy -- Son

Edit -- ok that wasn't working for me- let's try nicknames...

A beginning...

Well - this was supposed to be a place just for me -- but alas J liked the name too much to waiste it on private thoughts -- so it is now public...and not for me:) It's ok -- we needed a place to post things we should remember and highlight about our children. This will be the place. For those of you who know us IRL - you get the name - Bob, Belle, Bean & Puppy... we (E and J) are a loving couple - married for almost 9 years - with 4 beautiful healthy children who come with each of their own challenges. This is our story....