Sunday, July 27, 2008

Time to catch my breath...

Friday was another terrible day at camp for Belle -- she hit a child, they punished her, they didn't follow the certificate regimen that we had given them to help her...and then to top it off a pisher of a kid tried to psychoanalyze my daughter - god damn it... she roll played with her and thought that I would be so excited by this...and gave her all this attention -- why couldn't she just listen and follow through on what I asked them to do?

They were so mean to her, I watched during their show... the conselors didn't respond to her - like they did to the others, the kids shied away from her...I was so sad for my beautiful girl who has been driving everyone crazy...driving me crazy -- I love her, I love her, I love her -- I may need to repeat it over and over and over -- or even climb to the highest rooftop -- I LOVE HER! I want everyone else to also...

I called R - our ped -- crying - I'm was afraid they were either going to break her, or kick her out! He is just amazing, just amazing -- after droppng Bob off after another accident - I took her to his office and he put her on clonidine - a quarter of a .1mg pill 2x per day ....

I hate drugging my little girl - I hate drugging my little girl -- but I need to be able to love my little girl on my outside -- not just my insides, I need to show her that I love her, we all do -- she deserves it...she does.

1 comment:

aunt_becca said...

This made me cry a little. You're doing the right thing by helpng her with meds. I'm a bit sensitive to the mental health issues given what I do, and hearing the experiences of a mom of a daughter with some behavioral issues makes me appreciate not only my clients, but you.