Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Beautiful Partnerships

Life is not always easy. There are ups and downs. Choosing to share your life with someone is a personal choice. and who you choose to share it with, even more difficult and more personal.

I cannot remember a time when I did not believe that same sex relationships were beautiful. Maybe it was the family I grew up in. I remember cousin H and his boyfriend, I remember cousin R. The older generation, the G siblings seemed just as excepting of them as any other relationship in our family. Maybe it was just my perception. But that is my memory from about the age of 5 on, sitting in Aunt F and Uncle H's back yard, being welcomed and welcoming others into the family.

It is very much how my Grandma B was. She was not judgmental. Very accepting and loving of people for who they are and what they were able to being to the table.

I chose a life partner who believes the same way I do. We believe, when finding love, sex/gender is not an issue.

One if my favorite memories of the kids, when they were little (Belle was 4 and Bob was 5), was a Sunday morning, J and I were trying to doze while the 4 were watching TV on our bed. Bob said to us, "Belle thinks that two girls can get married!" J and I simultaneously in our sleep blurted out, "she's right!" I added just not in the state of MD yet, but hopefully soon. They took it and moved on. You see it was 2006 and by then same sex marriage was legal in Massachusetts...we were hoping that Maryland wouldn't be far behind.

I have tried to take the opportunity to point out the beauty of relationships, healthy ones, whenever I can.

Recently, a friend from college received an award for his journalistic piece on DOMA. I was cuddling in bed with Bean and telling her about it. She said "mommy, I don't know why they make such a big deal about people who love people who are the same gender, it just makes it seem like they are different - but they aren't, they are the same, they just want to marry the people they love..."

How right she was, my heart filled with pride...it was so matter of fact for her, it upset her that people made a big deal.

And then this past Saturday night, as we were lighting candles to bring in the holiday of Shavuot, Belle was asking why I got to light 2 candles and the kids only 1.

J explained to her that girls light one before they are married for themselves, and two after- one for themselves and one for their husband. Without a split second of delay Belle said, "or wife!"

Two very amazingly proud mommy moments for me. They give me hope for the future and the feeling that with all the ups and downs of parenthood we are clearly doing something right.

I hope and pray that our four beautiful children will each find a life partner who loves them as much as their father loves me, who is able to bring out the best in them and who can support them in their life journey navigating through life's ups and downs and celebrating the beauty of all healthy relationships!

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